Yes, I will brutally tell you that you are starting off the whole thing on the wrong foot. I have seen it and heard it and been shocked that people do it over and over expecting different results.
The first date is super important! It is a dating interview. This is where the person may or may not officially swipe you.
It is the date that secures the next date and so on and so on and I think most of us are doing it all wrong.
Why? We are not investing enough energy in the date. We land in the typical category and the relationship goes nowhere. Two people meet and say ‘eh whatever’ and never speak again. There can be several reasons for this but one is the date itself was flat.
Here are 10 different date ideas other than the bar and chat that will help secure the second date.
- Festivals – I love them for dates. Find one and go. It allows to people to talk, walk, and not feel like they are in an interview across a table.
- Free concerts – Music always lightens the mood and if there is food trucks or places to sit and chat even better.
- Mini golf – Sounds corny but mini golf is a fun place where people smile! You can
also, tell a lot about a person watching them do an activity. Oh if there is ice cream offer. End on a sweet note.
- Walk a city – Pick a downtown that is walkable and stroll several places. Have drinks at one, appetizers at another, and explore the shops. Don’t do the sit and stay. No, boring. Show your creativity and blend places together.
- Carnival – What? Yes! If you like games and what to show your fun side, do it on a first date. Carnivals are fun with games, food stands, rides, and entertainment!
- Sporting events – You are a sports fan! Then suggest a game.
- Walk in a Park – I know dating isn’t a walk in the park but walking a beautiful park then ending at an ice cream parlor or restaurant is a nice touch. You can always reverse it and eat then if you like the people suggest walking. It doesn’t really matter. I always suggest having an extension to a date if you feel like it is going well.
“I have never done this but….” If you are dating and looking to stand out, search up what is going on in your area or places that are different that most don’t mention like a paint place, a new restaurant, an obstacle course. Anything. Going somewhere new allows both of you to explore the place together and create a new memory. You can start, “I have heard people talk about this…”
- A date around them – I know it is hard to get to know people through texting so don’t. Pick up the phone and talk. Through the conversation, build ideas. For example, I am Irish so my husband invited me to Celtic Fest. He put my Irish last name wth a festival and boom I was sold!
- Create a date – Maybe you meet the person through Meetup and you both like to do the same thing. Well, then do that. Don’t bore each other with norm but plan a date around the activity that you like. You can always add dinner and drinks later but don’t avoid the activity both of you like to do first. Ride on your interests first. maybe you
go out with a ton of people all the time and now you can enjoy the activity just the two of you. That’s different.
I get it! There is a ton of pressure on the first date and it is super hard to plan, but like anything, practice will help. Also investing time in the planning. If you are like what to do, search out local websites for ideas, calendars, etc. The information is out there. Find it. You should know the events, activities in your area. If you are truly dating, you should have a basic knowledge of hot places to go and date. DON’T do the ”I don’t know.” Instead, “I know of this or that.”
You never just should be ehhh because your date will smell it and be like why am I here wasting my time.
If questions roll through your head of what to do, where to go, time, duration, interests, etc. That’s a good time to write a list down as go-to ideas. Then you have them in your pocket so when you are asking people out you have a list. You may even what to create a calendar so you know what is going on in the area so you can plan.
If you really want to secure fun dates even just for you to enjoy then you need to take dating seriously and not place it in the ‘whatever’ box. It is your time and energy, too. So make it fun and enjoyable. It totally stinks to feel like dating is a chore and your money is going nowhere. Instead, invest in something fun so even if the date is a total bummer at least you had a good time! Sounds selfish but it’s not.
So if every date of your ends up in the ehhh switch it up and plan something different. Honest. Everyone has had drinks and eaten a dinner zillion times. Boring!
Spice it up with something new not just for you but whoever you are taking out.