I think we expect too much from our partners. Yes! We WANT everything. We WANT them to be everything and in reality, they are partners. Yes, they are people.
In this crazy, busy world, partners juggle a lot and the demand to be the EVERYTHING is intense so take some of the pressure off each other and don’t expect everything. Instead, help each other be a closer everything out through listening and completing WANTS.
Just a little guidance: Don’t have your partner guess, you WANTS!
I mean you can play the guessing game but after while you need to just tell them. Voice
your WANTS because well it’s effective and puts you in the relationship. Now they may not listen completely. I get it but you said it and shared it and now they heard it and the guessing game should be over because you have expressed your WANT. I mean some partners are clueless. That’s when you have to come in and wake them up.
Some partners think partners like to play 52 Card Pick Up when it comes to guessing WANTs but no one likes to play that game. So why do we drop hints all over the place and watch partners try to pick up on all the clues. I don’t know but we do it all the time. I have never liked the game. I don’t know many who do.
Stop playing the card game and instead hand them the cards.
I guess I am saying take the guess work out of the WANT and take your WANT to a statement, “I want to go to this restaurant, _________ for our anniversary.” Hey, your partner may actually appreciate your directions. They may say, “That sounds great.” They may say, “I am glad you picked this time I was running out of ideas.”
Hey, some of you may be awesome at telling their partner your WANTs. Love!
Others not so much. If you are on the not so much, practice with some little things and work up to the big things.
Do your research on your want and then ask.
If your partner is a stubborn and can’t see past the TV, start a little earlier with the WANT.
If it is a big wish item, start slow and be specific. Some partners need a direct statement, “I want to do this.”
Timing can be everything, too. Know when it is the best time to ask for your WANT. Coming home from an insane work day may not be a good time. It all depends on your partner and your relationship. You may have to try a few different techniques.
So if you have a WANT:
- THINK ABOUT IT
- SHARE IT
- PLAN IT
- DATE IT
- ENJOY IT
Don’t hold your WANTs in because in the end your WANTs will eat at you and your discontent will fester which is never healthy and truly you deserve to have a voice, enjoy dating, and part of the relationship.