It simple. Do what you love and you will be love.
As people, we look for love, but we don’t always look for love within ourselves sometimes. We miss the key essential piece: Me. Yes, the me in you is very important to value and cherish. The me is what makes you special, not only to you but also to others. When you lose your me, you lose yourself. Some say go look for it like it is a lost puppy. It may feel that way, but it is really you not feeling comfortable being you. You are you.
You really can’t change that, but sometimes through words or labels, we mutate to what people want us to be. For me, that is when we lose the me and the love for ourselves.
You can buy books about ME, but really the discovery process is something that you can only control. I have a ton of self-help books trying to assist me to love me. They have beautiful covers, positive words on the front and back and stuffed with life changing information. I almost bought another one yesterday at Wegmans but I put it back because really it is up to me. The authors can always suggest, tell stories and encourage but it truly it comes down to me (you). The books are all great, amazing and inspiring, but I (you) must find my (your) way and determine my (your) story. So I will save you the $20 (Probably more) dollars and say: Do what you love then Love will find you. Not like a life partner, but love in general. That is a whole other post.
I have had some enlightening moments this week. My husband said, “You look so happy.” my son saying, “Those pills don’t work. You are happy when you are my mom.”
Honestly, I have been trying to find me this entire year (okay, probably more, but let’s leave it at a year). It has been exhausting, grueling and a fight to understand me. Yes, I am grown woman, but like everyone on the planet, I had some things to hash out. I have avoided these things for a long time sort of like my untamed garden in my backyard. A place that I didn’t want to go and avoided because it was too much work, complicated and a pain, but as annoying at it seemed I put my gloves on and pulled the crap out of me. I weeded, planted and hopefully will see some results this spring. No, I am not a master gardener by any means, but after this year I have done some pretty amazing work, which I am not going to do for you, but I will give you some ideas on how to be you and plant a new life sort of like mine, but not really.
- “Watch your own mat.” I learned this in my yoga class. I can get wrapped up in everyone else’s lives very quickly. Facebook is my emotional Pit of Despair. I guess it is my empathic portal, but when I started practicing yoga I started separating my life and others. Weird, right? My instructor would remind me weekly, “Watch your own mat. ” I really started to take her message in, focus on my space, and my practice to center my thoughts, feelings, and life. Simple, but a true lesson. I think because our lives are constantly being impacted by everything from social media, Trump news, posts, emails, etc. it can be challenging to discern you from them, but having that phrase, “Watch your own mat” constantly reminds me to bring it back to my mat and be with my practice. One down, four to go.
- Never Say Never– Yes, this is from American Tail. I have always told myself I am never going to do that because… I am a this or that. From therapy, I have discovered that these labels developed somewhere my life and have lasted until now and probably forever, but this year more than ever I have discovered to push the labels away and put my love into what I am doing and knocking out the nevers. Over time, I have witnessed things are just happening naturally, creating beauty in my life and building my love for myself. Perfect! So if you wear wounds, hold negative thoughts from your past, stop. You define you. So say, “I will never say never again. “
- Say your feelings– Your emotions matter. Feel them and share them with others. If you feel this way, say it. Bunk beds anyone? Releasing your feelings will help you grow and experience a happier you. Find a someone to share out to…right now. Don’t text, but call.
- Be Eleanor– I love Eleanor Roosevelt. I always have and probably always will. I adore her so much that I receive gifts relating to this very special woman. She was a lady who overcame all odds, stood up for what she believed, and encouraged society to think differently about key topics such as poverty, child labor, and international concerns. By the way, she was the major reason FDR won all his elections. Awesome sauce. Find a passion bigger than you. It may not be what everyone expects but do it anyway because it is you. She did it, you can, too!
- Believe- Yesterday, I believed in a student who didn’t believe in herself. She was finger counting 4 digit addition problems. I watched the first few problems. Her fingers moving and her head bouncing as she tried to add up all the numbers. Then, I said, “Come to the board, put down your fingers and believe in yourself.” About twenty minutes later, she was counting in her head. She cried, “I can do mental math.” “Yes.” I said, “You believed you.” Simple. Believe in your strengths. You have them. They are there. If you don’t have a teacher, find a friend to cheer you along your way. Hear your bell and move.
There are probably more examples that I can list, but 5 seem enough for a Friday morning.
Remember: Love is within you; you don’t have to find it out in the world but within yourself.