Fire! Fire! Fire!

Disagreements will occur. Fights will blaze and typically never expected!  They can be heated and leave burns. A simple word can start a flame then you are in the fire zone. Danger!! You may need to wait out the feelings and the heated discussions. You may need to throw water on the fire and allow for space. Space allows healing. If you in the hot spot, be smart and try to manage the damage. Don’t add to the fire!!

It may take a little for the fire to extinguish but kindness, time and love can assist in the healing. It may not come in an hour, 3 hours or a day, maybe a week. But don’t let it go for too long, starting the conversation prevents spreading.

Releasing the tension and calming the fire through talking without emotion is a great start. Listen, breathe and response. Take in each others viewpoints and try to understand each other’s behaviors. Be factual, not emotional.

When having this conversation, find a quiet space and allow for time but not too much. An hour is just perfect. Plan. Remember your respectful, kind words and refrain from attack or blame statements. Be rationale and collected . Remember people can only talk so much at once, please monitor the conversation, time and topics.

This week I asked my 80 year old neighbor about staying together. He said don’t go to bed angry. That’s how he got to 40 plus years of marriage. I can’t say that always happens in a perfect world but his words are great guidelines. Fire in a house is not healthy so try your best to reduce the heat and put out the flames. Stop. Talk. Love.

When in a firy agruement, be smart. Try effective communication strategies and manage the damage. If you need help, ask for support but always come back to your truth. In the end, couples must come together and put out the fire as a unit.  šŸ˜‰ 


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