Relationship

The Trap

Beware of the Holiday Trap!!!!!  Holidays can be very busy with parties, events, and family. Most of us run around like our heads are cut off. Ugly. One strategy during this insane time I like to implement is Plan, Commit, Celebrate. Start by picking what you are going to do, committing to the plan and celebrating that you created a holiday season in your own style. It is almost like a diet plan for the holidays. This technique can be used at any time, but it fit for today.

A week before an event start the discussion. When the event arrives, stay on track, recommit then congratulate each other. Promise: You aren’t skipping Christmas but reclaiming the holiday and establishing how you were going to participate.

Personal example: This week, we said we were going to attend a party and just stay for snack, not dinner. Before we left for the party, we repeated our commitment. When the time arrived, we departed, said no to dinner and headed home to relax and prepared for the next day. During the visit, we were ask several times to stay longer, but we stayed true to our commitment.  When we came home, kids were in bed by 8:30 and we were out at 10PM. Before we feel asleep, we commented that we followed through and smiled!

Example: Jennifer’s Party – 5-11PM- Maybe just go from 6-9. If you set a time, keep to it. Look at it as a end of work day clock out time. The more you stay to the departure time, it will reassure your commitment to the time and to each other.

Another example: Grandma’s Party, Work Party, Johnny’s Feast- Pick Grandma’s and Work. Okay, two out of the three. Awesome. If Johnny asks if you are coming ,say nope. Follow through with your plan. If you add another event that wasn’t planned then you may upset the partner. If you have a specific, hard core reason for attending Johnny’s explain but never assume that you can convince the other. Simplify.

This is not easy. Holidays demand for us to be everywhere, show our happiness and party to the New Year’s Day but in reality you don’t have to. This holiday create a plan, commit and celebrate. Don’t get lured in by the cheese platters. Go around and find a new path. It may take time for your hyperactive, over planning partner to sit down and agree to less is more but in the end your planning will help both of you to avoid the Holiday Trap.

Remember: Down time is okay! You don’t have to go to every party! Saying ‘no thank you’ has benefits, too.

Going on forward. Avoid the Holiday Trap and be a powerful partnership by communicating, collaborating and committing to each other.

 

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