Tonight in the grocery store an old lady backed her motorized wheelchair to align with my cart and stated, “I love your hair. Your color is beautiful.” I told her it was a box color, explained it had faded, and needed a touch up. She said, “You look great. Don’t change a thing. I have seen red heads with color, and it doesn’t look good, but your hair look so natural.” I again repeated my formula and thanked her, but I really didn’t receive her kind words because I knew in my head that my roots were showing and the color was 3 weeks overdue. I felt extremely awful when she slowly rolled away from me because I gave her every excuse in the book and pushed her compliment away as if it didn’t mean anything to me. She probably didn’t understand my response to her compliment because she was really trying to make me feel special and beautiful. Sadly, I was like nope, not today.
Why am I telling you this story? Well, I broke one of my essential conversational rules. Always take a compliment with a smile. First, it is nice to hear something positive about us since there is so much negativity influencing our self-esteem and confidence so it is always good to soak in the warm, honest remarks. Second, it is polite to say thank you for noticing me without a comment. I totally busted this one. Oops.
On typical dates, people’s go to is a compliment to start a conversation. This statement can result as an epic yes or a fail depending on the partner or date. Some may respond thanks. Others will respond like me with every excuse why not to compliment my look. Whatever you do, don’t do what I did tonight and become the blubbering excuse machine that nobody wants to hear.
My genuine feeling on this topic is accept the kind words, smile, say thank you and move the conversation to another topic focused on the other person. You don’t have to direct a compliment back to them if you don’t feel one naturally come to you! Instead, try to bridge the compliment to another statement to engage the complimentor. This quick exchange can roll the wanted or unwanted compliment off you and back to them before you can decide to prove the compliment wrong in your mind. Your smooth move will make the other person feel that their words were heard and you liked their statement enough to continue conversing with them.
If you are an excuse machine, please practice this technique of receiving a compliment. If you are at work, someone says I like you top say thank you with no comment, respond with another compliment or follow my tip and ask about his or her kids or something like that. The more you practice it will be become natural out on a date and you won’t have my embarrassing moment on a date, which lands you in the uncomfortable zone of not knowing what to say except sorry.
Thanks Lady in the Motorized Wheelchair for Inspiring this Post!