Tonight, I opened my oven and found a very crusty Wegmans loaf staring and crying, “Why did you forget me?” I responded in my head, “I can’t tell you how sorry I feel and you deserve more.” It was like I was talking to myself. Yep, objects speak to me. Weird.
What does forgotten bread relate to dating? Well, here is my big connection: don’t forget yourself. I think the recent movie Me Before You had it right. We must value ourselves first before others. When we take time to say “yes I value” then we allow ourselves to find our individual inner happiness, which then flows freely into our relationships. Deep.
First, take baby steps to discover who you are and what you represent. This is not an original concept, but one I have heard in therapy rooms, read in self-help books and even repeated by love ones imploring me to focus on my personal development. So, I will call my recommendations research-based and valid.
Slow down for a moment, simply breathe and listen to your heart. It will tell you what to do. I highly suggest making a list of things you enjoy and start doing one of those things for a week. Oprah recommends making a dream board and others promote signing up for Marie Forleo’s email then addictively listen to her message for guidance. All options work. Pick one that fits your style.
Don’t leave yourself in the oven! If you like to read, please treat yourself to a local library or bookstore. If you love to write, grab some paper and share a story. Be risky and listen to your favorite music in the car. Personally, I like to grab my favorite mocha and secretly people watch in the local coffee shop! From my many soul searches, I find the best activities usually relate back to childhood pleasures. If that is a dead end, try something new. Whatever it maybe, pursue it!
Now don’t go to crazy, but ease into an idea. Be gentle with your new interest, practice it at your own pace and find comfort in discovering you. By the way, as you treat yourself with kindness, respect and explore your fun side, your whole self will accelerate to a new level of joy and don’t be surprised when people notice your radiance. Your choice to put yourself as Numero Uno is like getting the best hair cut ever. You will walk taller and people will comment. I am telling you this transformation will allow your inner dimmer switch to blast this brilliant light out of you creating an indescribable glow. Your new commitment of valuing yourself will bring your life joy and the most important key factor for dating purposes: when I am happy and value myself, people will be attracted to me because happiness is rare, top ten on most people’s dating list and a desirable trait to be around. I promise you when you love yourself people will appear out of nowhere and want to be with you. This leads to great opportunities for relationship building or reconnecting.
Oh yes, my son ran into the kitchen and spotted the crusty loaf and said, “Mom, that was a Wegmans loaf.” Yep. In my mind I said to the bread, “My deepest apologizes and I will try harder not to be so distracted.”